Well I can tell you that for me I really don't want HPV and I ask that my partners be tested for it before we become intimate, but shit also happens and you just have to learn to roll with it.

You did the right thing by telling your possible partner, his wife's reaction is not your responsibility though you may suffer from her freak out. I my husband came home from a date to tell me the news that his possible love interest has HPV I would want to slow things down a touch and ask him if he's willing to take the small, but still possible, risk of bringing that home to me. If she seemed worth it to him I may propose that he and I use condoms for a while until it feels that the risk factor is lowered by repeated exposure with no infection. But I'm a rational person typing from the safety of my personal computer. If faced with the reality of her situation I reserve the right to freak out for a little while.

But rest assured that your conscious should be clean because you did the right thing by telling him about his possible risk.

Only approved for women up to age 26 because that is the age range they used for clinical trials. At least that's what my doctor told me...

Do you know which kind of HPV you have? There are over 100 and only four are real risks for cancer (which still only raises your risk from 4-6% to 6-8%). If you don't know which kind you have there is a test that can tell you. Then you can tell everybody exactly what their risks are or if you have one of the mostly harmless versions.

Also, just because you have had an abnormal pap does not mean that you have HPV...but that you may have been exposed to it. Normally repeat paps and a "just to be sure" biopsy are often ordered, then HPV could be dismissed. Good LUck

I'm 33 and was able to get the Guardasil vaccine last year from my Dr at Kaiser. Initially my request was turned down but when I explained my sexual history and how its changed in the past couple of years (Was a virgin when I met my husband and until 2 years ago we were monogamous) my Dr agreed it was a good idea.

Just to be clear, HPV and herpes are not the same. Herpes Simplex Virus has two different types - I and II. Type I is typically oral and II is typically genital, but there's a great deal of crossover.
HPV (Human Papilloma Virus) has scores of types. While the herpes virus (it seems) is a 'forever' type of thing, HPV sometimes disappears. Also, it is HSV (herpes) that creates cold sores, and HPV that can create warts or cancer, but these two viruses are distinct and do NOT cause the same complications.

Trusting partners can be very difficult when negotiating safer sex, particularly as everyone has different definitions of "safe." Additionally, not everyone gets tested for the same infections (for example, it is not in a standard screening to test for herpes) so saying "I've been tested and I'm fine" can mean one thing for one person and another for another.

Really, this just emphasizes the importance of having really clear communication, particularly about something as emotional and body-related as sexual health. What have you been tested for? How long ago was that? When was the last time you had protected sex prior to that? Have you had sex after that? What does "protected" mean to you - does that include oral sex? What are the sexual practices of your current partners, and what are your safer sex practices with them? It can be a pretty in-depth and intense conversation, but it can be much better to go through that and get everyone on the same page than to risk disastrous miscommunication.

One last note on transmissibility: One can, in fact, have used latex barriers for every genital-genital and genital-oral contact and still become infected with either HPV or HSV. HPV is tricky because it can manifest outside of areas covered by condoms, as can HSV. Additionally, HSV most commonly infects the mouth, and how many people think to ask if someone has ever had a cold sore before kissing them? One must also note that someone can be infected with HSV or HPV and never ever have experienced symptoms (as is true with many sexually transmitted infections), so a partner might be entirely unaware of infection status, PARTICULARLY as these viruses are not typically tested for in a standard STI screening (which usually includes chlamydia, gonorrhea, HIV, and usually syphilis, though different communities have different trends and standards).

Bottom line: Talk with your partners, get all yerselves tested, and make sure everyone is on the same page regarding safer sex practices. If you feel you can't trust a partner (or a partner's partner) to keep to safer sex agreements, it might be a good indicator that you should reevaluate your relationships.

On "HPV is bad, very bad"--this is untrue from a medical standpoint (though maybe you're thinking of it from a social stigma standpoint...). HPV is no big deal for the vast majority of people who contract it. Some people who get it have symptoms, most don't. Of those who have symptoms, most have fairly quick and painless treatment. So, really, when compared to a cold that I caught that dragged on for 3 months and turned out to be whooping cough, I'd rather get HPV.

Twice I found out after a sexual encounter with someone that she did not disclose that she had an STD. Once was herpes and the other was HPV. The HPV had also caused serious health problems for this person years before so it was a well known issue for her. I felt distrust of these people for not saying something before we became intimate. It certainly made me more cautious and I make sure to ask those questions beforehand. Its my responsibility to make sure I protect myself from exposure but it is also the responsibility of the infected person to disclose the risk up front so their partner can make an informed decision. It doesn't matter how low the risk might be, or which strain you have. Secrets like that suck.