For me, I've tended to prefer public get-togethers. I enjoy the coffee shops and restaurant get-togethers, but I've also organized hikes, picnics, and other things. I figure a social event that focuses on an activity is a fun way for people to get involved without having to overworry about any other social pressures. New folks can join if they like, and (especially for hikes), I've found that a lot of people are far more willing to attend a pleasant and vigorous social activity that has a spectacular view of the Columbia River Gorge afterwards than head out to a coffee shop (although timing's always a bitch, I admit).

Caveat: This is for the incredibly limited time that I do enjoy (and I do) social contact. I'm pretty reclusive.

I like a range. Activity focuses are great for getting together people who might not know each other well and create a comfort zone. But getting together and unscrewing the inscrutable over a cup of coffee is incredibly pleasant, too.

You know, it never occurred to me to be "looking for" anything specific if I go to a party or gathering. They all have their own flavor, so I guess I hang up expectations. Well... I'd excuse myself politely if a purported poly discussion group wound up being an orgy. Being specific about what sort of activity an activity-based gathering shall be is nice.

Hmm, just got involved with a local "poly" discussion group/dinner out group. It's ok. I like more organization rather than less, if we are there for a "discussion". If we're just socializing, I think I'd almost rather have a potluck or picnic. I've got a pretty poly-friendly bunch of friends, anyway, so while the poly group is nice, I don't know that it's a must-do for me. We've added a potluck I haven't been to yet.

wow, i live in the sticks so i guess i'm new to this whole poly-get-togethers thing. I had no idea people had actual meet-n-greets for poly couples. lol.

I'd be down to go to something (hell ANYTHING) poly related. might be fun.

as it is, we seem to be doing rather well at finding pro-poly/ non-monogamous people around us and at the festivals/ parties - etc that we go to. So i don't think we ever even thought of looking for a specific group to go hang out with.

We of course attend a lot of burning man events/ regional events etc. and pagan festivals (we arn't pagan but we are pagan friendly ;) and enjoy the holidays more ;) ) and I live at an intentional community (while they know about polyamory/ non-monogamy, i think they have been experiencing epic fail poly for a few years and arn't really sure how to do it right anymore- but at least we fit in a bit. )

Anyone in TN ? Atlanta? etc. know of something we should check out specifically to poly events and outings? :)

Thanks!
mizztrish

I never go to poly community events. I've met a lot of the local poly community, at least the younger, edgier folks, through other types of events--at clubs, parties, Burning Man types of events, Seattle Erotic Arts Festival, etc., but for the most part I don't find myself having that much in common with most people in the poly community beyond our relationship style--from music and hobbies to the way we live our lives. I'm much more from the punk/music scene and associate with that community much more than the poly community. Luckily, being "out" in my own community for the past decade seems to bring out of the woodwork the other poly/non-monogamous types of people that are more like me. There are a lot of non-monogamous or poly people that don't do poly events or align themselves with the poly community, we often form our own smaller networks of friends and lovers. I think it's rad there is a community out there with events for poly people to tie into, even if most of the events are not for me. Now if someone started throwing punk rock poly events with whiskey, pinball and screamy music, then I'd be all over it.

Honestly it depends what I'm in the mood for.... and who else is going to be there ;)

I have friends who are poly, but have been trying to get more tapped in to the poly community in my own area lately which has been a little challenging. I went to a fundraiser last weekend - fun, but didn't get much of an opportunity to meet new people. A friend of mine has a monthly party at his house that I really love to go to even though I hate the hour drive each way. There is stuff going on in my area, but I have a hard time jumping in because of scheduling conflicts. I've just been trying to make to one or two events each month regardless of what they are.... maybe I ought to answer this question again in September!

I love social events, as long as I can be drug to them.

One of the few problems with not having a driver's license.

I've found mixing up events helps because some people want to "discuss poly" while others just want to socialize. For my Poly 101 events I usually have a potluck at the end where people can socialize if they want, but they can also leave if they just wanted discussion. We hold the events at a public meeting place so no one is pressured to host at their home.

I also really enjoy poly retreats and camps that have a mix of workshops/discussions and social fun time. Hot tubs are a bonus! :P