thank you for reinforcing what i believe in Bacchus. i am just mourning people who i thought were friends and people i cared for. it's just painful.

details of what happened? i'll try to be brief - the boyfriend and i just finished acting school forever this last Sat. there was a party afterwards. the night before i sat down with him and my husband, we talked about safe sex and taking the next steps, we joked, had food, etc. everything was fine, the boyfriend said it was OK for hubby to come to the party after graduating. the next morning he calls me screaming that it was a terrible idea, that my husband was a prick, and that i shouldn't bother. well, i made plans with hubby, but then Saturday night the boyfriend took my hand while i was with my husband, he told us both he would see us at the party. so we went to the party - he wasn't there so i sat with my friends and we were having a great time. then the boyfriend walks in, refuses to look at me. so i went up to him at touched his arm, and that is when i saw he hated me. i told my husband to get up and leave, and we split.

the next day i called up the boyfriend and he yelled at me - how did i dare to bring my husband to the party? i told him that he had said at the last minute we should both come, but he asked me how i dared think that was OK? i told him i was confused with his mixed messages - i guess for him, yes means no? i mean, he said we should both come, just an hour before.

anyways, before he called me a lot of raging things on the phone he did chalk it up to maybe he was the jealous type after all. f.u. you "c"-word. *click*

and the photo job i lost - ugh. i suppose people like us are just seen as walking around with our pants off and our legs open? this a-hole didn't take "no" for an answer, now he says i have to "beg" for the digital photos (they are comic book art, nothing "unsavory"), which i won't because i wanted to keep things professional. boy, that went down very badly. the jerk wanted to use the photos for a publication, so now i have to be prepared that if he publishes them, i'll have to sue him. he never got my permission to use them legally, but clearly he has no scruples. well, at least i know my rights now.

thank you all for being supportive here. i appreciate your wisdom, believe me. every time i walk out the door i just wonder how long it will be until the next person hates me. all i have learned about polyamory so far is that i am hated and thrown away. except by my husband, thank god. polyamory life is making me monogamous 8(

Please Phrannie... I seriously doubt anybody in here intended to give any kind of insult. What they tried to do is make a humorous observation about the nature and philosophy behind acting (or storytelling or any other kind of creative shaping of a shared reality for that matter).

There's a line that's an old favorite of mine that is cliche'd but might help :

A storyteller uses lies to tell the truth. A politician uses truth to shape a lie.

I think you're taking what Edward said more than a weee bit too seriously. Srsly. He didn't say actors are liars in relationships and real life situations, but the very nature of their work means pretending to be someone or something they are not, that's part of playing a role. And the best actors are so good at faking/pretending to be someone they aren't, that it's believable to us, the viewers, of the play or movie.

I can't help but be reminded by this thread of an old joke:

A boy sees an old man fishing at a river side, goes over and asks what he's caught.

"Been out here all day and not caught a thing." the old man says.

"All day? How could that be?" asks the boy.

"Son, that's why it's called 'fishing', not 'catching'."

***

That's why it's called "acting", not "being", phrannie. That's the ONLY message here.

"thank you Edward, for concluding that every time i say "i love you" i am probably full of shit..."

You know, it's not so hard to ask me to clarify things, if you really aren't tracking. Certainly quoting ME instead of YOU would be preferable, else I'm assuming you're just using my name as a placeholder for your form of emotional punching bag (I'll pass on the offer, no thanks).

I mean, I write something to remind you that if you feel as if you've been screwed around with by someone who happens to be an actor, to remember that when you deal with an actor, you are dealing with someone who is trained to deceive a viewer. So, basically, to not beat yourself up too bad about it.

From there, you pretty much launch weird-ass vitriol and personal attacks (so far, myself, my partners, my offspring -- is there anything else I've missed?) and significantly misrepresenting me (even after I try explaining it) and then beating up on yourself even more and somehow suggesting this has ANYTHING to do with me. Hells bells, you've somehow connected me to how shitty you make yourself feel about your dead dad. Jinkies!

Is there any point in time where something in your head kicks in and says "Woah -- damn, I really am in the land of Crazy if I'm just weirdly lashing out like that!"?

'Cause -- and here I'm going to type very slowly in case it helps make the point -- practically NOTHING you have written in "response" to me has anything to do what what I wrote.

And I'm not the only one you're gettin' wacky at. I mean what the hell kind of question is "...are you telling me that if you see someone crying alone on a chair, are they lying?"

I mean, what the heck is that CONNECTED to? I mean OUTSIDE of your brain?

Should this same sort of creative license be used when interpreting your other interactions, the ones you posted about? Would it help if, say, I said "well, based on what I've read here, it's probable that you have wildly misinterpreted what you were told, flew off at the handle instead of finding out what was REALLY going on, and are catching shit for it."?

Look -- if you REALLY need to hate yourself, well, I'd recommend against it, but it's your call. You are, in theory, an adult, and can make adult mature decisions about whether or not to hate yourself. But still, I'd recommend against it. It probably won't get you anywhere useful, unless by "useful" you need to play a part of a woman who hates herself, in which case, now this whole thread has been terribly convenient for you.

In any case, let's not be pretending anything anyone here is saying has anything to do with your chosen path.

So, you were saying something earlier about actors not always being drama queens. That was interesting. Could you clarify what you meant by that?

How would you define a "drama queen," exactly?

The fact that you've been so terribly reactive *is* rather telling to be honest with you. At least two of the people you've attacked are in the entertainment industry themselves.

What makes you assume that the people with whom you've become upset don't know anything about the profession?