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We're going to be hosting a poly discussion group at our home in NE Vancouver starting the 11th of February (2nd Wednesday of the month) from 7-9pm. It will be moderated, and 2-4 topics will be chosen in advance. to hash over for the evening
We're also interested in getting input as to what types of topics people are interested in talking about. Particularly of interest are the chewy, tough, complicated issues that you may have run across!
If you have any input, or are interested in attending, please contact me directly, and I'll be happy to get you the location and topics for the upcoming meeting!
We're also interested in getting input as to what types of topics people are interested in talking about. Particularly of interest are the chewy, tough, complicated issues that you may have run across!
If you have any input, or are interested in attending, please contact me directly, and I'll be happy to get you the location and topics for the upcoming meeting!
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Portland
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Re: New poly discussion group starting up in Vancouver.
Wed, January 28, 2009 - 6:39 PMIt sounds like a good time -- sure wish I could be there...
Best Wishes! :-)
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Re: New poly discussion group starting up in Vancouver.
Wed, January 28, 2009 - 7:45 PMmy old home town!
good luck, gina...hope it's fun...wish i was still around to say hi!
maybe i'll drop in next time i'm visiting...
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Re: New poly discussion group starting up in Vancouver.
Thu, February 5, 2009 - 8:13 AMHere's a list of the topics we'll be drawing off of. If anyone has additonal input, refinements, or really loves a particular topic, let me know!
Poly Discussion Group Topics
1. Jealousy: Do you want to have some?
2. How to be supportive when someone is feeling left behind, without pandering.
3. NRE: The good, the bad and the ugly of the “new shiny” syndrome.
4. When someone in your circle breaks up with another partner; impacts on existing connections.
5. Introvert to extrovert communication.
6. Asking for what you want without being controlling.
7. Using your big girl/big boy words: How not to martyr.
8. Dealing with not getting what you want. What’s a deal-breaker?
9. Negotiating boundaries and making requests.
10. Envy or jealousy? Do you want what they have, or do you not want anyone to have it?
11. Support: external or internal. How much is helpful? How much is enabling?
12. Dealing with your own shit when you’d rather hand someone else the shovel.
13. Privacy and sharing: Who should know what, and when?
14. Cohabiting: Advantages and disadvantages, pitfalls and unexpected benefits of communal poly households.
15. Coming into an existing relationship: What is it like to be the “other woman/man”?
16. How to prioritize time in a complex network of relationships.
17. When good communication still isn’t getting a desired result.
18. Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?
19. Coming out to family, friends or at work. Why yes or no?
20. Adding a new member to your circle safely with minimal drama on existing relationships.
21. Casual sex: Can it be part of a poly relationship?
22. Kink and poly: Chocolate and peanut butter?
Kids and poly
1. When do you introduce new people?
2. How to be honest without putting it all out there.
3. Surprise! You have some new family members!
4. When breakups happen.
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Re: New poly discussion group starting up in Vancouver.
Thu, February 5, 2009 - 10:45 AMSounds like a great list! Makes me wish it was in Vancouver, BC, but I'm reasonbly certain you mean Vancouver, WA. -
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Re: New poly discussion group starting up in Vancouver.
Thu, February 5, 2009 - 12:32 PMYep, the Washington one! Thanks for the feedback. :)
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Re: New poly discussion group starting up in Vancouver.
Fri, February 13, 2009 - 12:13 PMGina - now I'm getting totally envious. What a great list of topics.
Can you do some podcasts of the sessions??? :-) -
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Re: New poly discussion group starting up in Vancouver.
Fri, February 13, 2009 - 1:27 PMLOL I don't know if I personally am high-tech enough to make that happen, but I can ask my partners! ;)
The first meeting went really well! We had 18 people show up, and the discussion on the two topics could have gone for twice the amount of time we had available. I particularly liked that there were many people present with decades of poly/open relationship experience.
Next month's topics will be: "How to prioritize time in a complex network of relationships." and "When someone in your circle breaks up with another partner; impacts on existing relationships."
Next meeting is Wednesday March 11th, 7-9pm. I'll pop a reminder out a week or so in advance again. If you're interested, please contact me for location.
Thank you to those who participated this month! I'm looking forward to continuing these conversations. -
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Round two of Vancouver Poly Group
Mon, March 2, 2009 - 7:41 PMBump! This is coming up next week. Let me know if you're interested, so I can share location with you. -
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Re: Round two of Vancouver Poly Group
Tue, March 3, 2009 - 11:27 AMWith respect to the podcast suggestion: I would think this might raise privacy concerns. Usually what is said in a support group like this stays there. I, for one, would not want folks to inhibit their discussion because they fear being inadvertently "outted" in some way. In fact, I might feel the need to inhibit my talking points out of respect for the others in my network. The details of what is shared are often not for public consumption. I find the best way to learn and get support is to attend the group in person. -
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Re: Round two of Vancouver Poly Group
Tue, March 3, 2009 - 11:31 AMForerunner,
I just noticed you're in Canada, so, of course, you can't just fly over here to attend the group. Have you considered pulling together a group in your local area? I'm sure Gina and her pod would be happy to share the "how to" details, possibly our agenda, and facilitation guidelines. Anywhere there are experienced poly folks eager to share experiences is probably a good place to offer such a group.
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Re: Round two of Vancouver Poly Group
Tue, March 3, 2009 - 2:58 PMHi Barbara,
That Podcast suggestion was mostly tongue-in-cheek mixed with a little bit of envy. You are certainly right about the privacy and inhibition issues that go along with that. Good suggestion to get a group together. I might have to try that some day.
Thanks :-)
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Re: Round three of Vancouver Poly Group
Tue, March 24, 2009 - 7:38 AMThe response to this group has been really strong so far. I'll reiterate again that, although this group is open to poly folk of all experience levels, it is primarily focused on practical application, and might not be as comfortable a starting point if you are new to poly. RSVP's just opened yesterday, and we're close to full already, so contact me promptly if you're interested.
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Greetings to all you eager springtime poly peeps!
It's time to get the ball rolling for next month's meeting on Wednesday the 8th of April! Since we had a pretty full house last month, I'm looking to make sure we don't have more people than space. On that note-
RSVP's will be taken in the order received, and when the space is full, we're closed until next month.
What a great challenge to be having two months in! Also, I'm going to try a tweak in the format. Rather than running 2 hours straight, the meeting will run from 7:00-9:30pm, so that we have time for a short break and social time between topics. Feel free to bring snacks and/or non alcoholic beverages to share.
Topics are as follows:
"Fluid Bonding: Physical and emotional challenges."
"NRE: The good, the bad and the ugly of "new shiny" syndrome."
Feel free to send over any particular sub-points that you'd like to explore for addition to the evening's handout.
If you need info for phone or address, I'll be happy to add that information when you RSVP.
See you the 8th!
Gina and the Vancouver pod -
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June Vancouver Poly Group
Fri, May 22, 2009 - 8:20 AMWe're closing in on full capacity, but I wanted to open this up to additional people and keep things fresh! If you're interested, please tag me back soon, so that I can save you a spot!
This particular discussion group is geared towards more poly-experienced people, so if you're new to poly, feel free to ask about other options that might fit your needs better.
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Drumroll please!
The discussion topics for the Wednesday, June 10th meeting, which will be held from 7-9:30pm, are as follows:
Polyamory in the long run. What does this look like in 20 years?
and
Negotiating Boundaries and Making Requests.
If you haven't already, please RSVP to reserve a spot ASAP!
Please feel free to pop over any particular aspects of these topics that you would like to make sure hit the discussion outline. This group is about providing a way to ask questions, and find many possible solutions, so keep the input coming! Also, if there are any particular topics that you would like to see for July on out, share that with me.
Appreciation to all of you that contributed some snacks and beverages to share.
Is there any interest in having a picnic or some such event for the group later this summer?
Thank you all for making this a rewarding experience for your hosts!
Gina and company.
www.polytripod.blogspot.com
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Re: New poly discussion group starting up in Vancouver.
Fri, May 22, 2009 - 11:41 PMThanks for posting this! Our Boulder discussion group has gotten stuck at POLY 101:terms and books for a really long time. I've been looking for a way to push us out of it. List sounds good. -
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Re: New poly discussion group starting up in Vancouver.
Sat, May 23, 2009 - 7:28 AMYes! How we've structured it is to have a couple of meaty topics picked out in advance, I work up a discussion outline (everyone gets a copy) with several sub-points that might tangent the conversation in different ways, we plug and play. It's been really fun so far, and the average participant has 5-10 years of poly/open relationship experience to draw off of.
Some of the hottest topics (Fluid Bonding anyone?) can get a bit intense, but as long as there's someone at the helm that is willing to step in and steer if things get moving in a non-constructive direction, it's all good.
If you're interested in more, tag me privately and I'll be happy to pass along our discussion topic list as a starting point. -
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Re: New poly discussion group starting up in Vancouver.
Wed, October 7, 2009 - 11:25 AMIt's that time of month again! For those of you in the Portland/Vancouver area, the Vancouver Poly Discussion Group will be this upcoming Wednesday the 14th from 7-9:30pm.
Our topics this month are:
"Nurturing your Vintage Relationships."
and
"BDSM and Poly."
Please feel free to pass along the group information to anyone that might be interested in joining us. Bring a beverage and/or snack to share during social time. Contact me directly for address and phone number, as well as to let me know how many of you will be here.
Looking forward to seeing you next week!
Gina and the Vancouver Pod.
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Re: New poly discussion group starting up in Vancouver.
Thu, February 5, 2009 - 2:35 PMSounds like a great idea -- if I happen to be in Vancouver during the week I'd love to come to one!
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Re: New poly discussion group starting up in Vancouver.
Fri, May 22, 2009 - 3:24 PMwhen is the next one?
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Re: New poly discussion group starting up in Vancouver.
Fri, May 22, 2009 - 4:06 PMIt's in the body of the message: June 10th from 7-9:30pm. It's the second Wednesday of each month.
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