I treat everybody a little differently. I try to focus on the relationship I have with that specific individual and try to keep that connection as alive nd happy as possible.

I don't think I ever would spend similar amounts of time with both. I live with my primary and when I have a secondary I probably see them about once a week on average. In the situation you describe I'm not sure "primary" and "secondary" are the right words to use.

My relationship with my secondary had almost nothing in common with the relationship I have with my primary. While there were some striking similarities in their personalities for the most part they were very different. The relationships served two distinct roles in my life and they each complimented the other very well. The sum of the parts was greater than the whole, if that makes sense.

I think this is an interesting question and I'm curious about what specifically you have in mind when you say "treat." I think we interact differently with everyone, because everyone's different, but the basic rules of respectful and civilized conduct should stay the same--

Sure I would, as I don't treat each child the same, the same can be said for those in my relationship life.

I have a deep rooted trust and connection to my husband that comes of being in a relationship that has been nurtured and cultured through years. My boyfriends I love greatly, and trust. Though since we don't have those years together, it's different... but not different "bad."

Each and every relationship I have and have had has been unique. After all, they are comprised of a union between two unique people. I tend to treat each partner a little differently based on how we relate to each other, what they and I both need, etc. It's thankfully always at least a little bit different with every relationship.

The boundaries my married poly lover imposed on me, as a secondary, were so restrictive they suffocated our relationship.

For example, he refrained from allowing himself to develop or express profound feelings for me, and insisted that we could only have sex on his couch because his bed was reserved for him, his wife and the women they had threesomes with. I realized that he created such rules because the possibility of his wife sharing the same intimacy with her male lover made him jealous. His various rules really emphasized my secondary status, and I found the situation insulting, unfulfilling and somewhat degrading. Eventually, I broke up with him to preserve my self-respect.

I don't care for secondary or primary label views..

I just ended a poly and am beginning anew...
We all lived in separate homes and use to gather on weekends, till love came into play... funny you would think love would enhance, but the other female once she was aware that our male partner was also in love with me got incredible insecure... Prior to that she didn't want to spend time with him or I she was off on a date or doing her own thing... Once she saw our relationship she made demands and wanted to spend time with him... It got very hurtful unfortunately, I understood her feeling and gave them some room to reconnect.. Spent our first she had pushed him away broke up with is twice and he was so happy that she wanted him back that I was not going to get in the way.. Inadvertently pushed aside some times harshly, neither care to give support for this change, he needed to push me away to show his love or loyalty to her and it took its toll..
she also would set up weekends or communal time for us all to be together and then she wouldn't show, he couldn't just run off to her house I was there, so he began to resent not being able to go, she did this several times to us, resenting during my time, I became part of that resentment...
It was amazingly painful but I wouldn't trade the experience, I held his hand through hard times with her and never ever put her down or told him he should leave, I only show my support to him, shoulder to cry on and offer my ears to listen...
It was an AFOG, Another Fucking Opportunity for Growth...

I am now dating some one who awesome, has more experience, and understanding of poly relationship and its wonderful... We have our relationship and expanding it as happens, I like letting things organically evolve, no expectations...

All of my mates, my partners, my lovers, and even my chew-toys get individual and unique treatment from me. Yes, some are necessarily more involved or less involved in my life due to time constraints or their expressed desire to not make our relationship too intimate, but the same amount of my heart is available to all of them and I put just as much work into an encounter with one of my chew-toys as I ever did with my mate/husband. When I am with a beloved I focus on them.

When I am with each person I'm involved with, no, I don't treat them differently. They're all precious to me. If I treat them differently, it's an understanding and decision we have come to according to where we fit in each others lives.
However, that being said, my 'primary/wife' (the wife label is difficult for me to use, especially since she's 'married/handfasted' to another as well) does have a significant more say in things I do, and I do spend more time with her since we live together and are all trying to have children soon. So that responsibility requires a shift in importance and attention.

>: )