(Poly) LOVE IS......

topic posted Sat, August 19, 2006 - 3:17 PM by  Angel

(Poly) LOVE IS......

stopping by his house to walk and feed the dogs so that he
can have an un-interupted week-end retreat with his new girlfriend.

(which I just did before using his internet connection).

Instructions for this thread(in case it is not obvious):

Insert your cute/romantic/sweet/annoying/snarky relationship
oriented statement here...
ala that 70s" Love is..... " thing
posted by:
  • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Sat, August 19, 2006 - 4:05 PM
    Poly love is...

    Arranging for a hotel suite for my Sweetie and his date at the hotel where I worked, setting up with as much romance as possible, then getting back to work, while imaging the yummy things going on in the room...
  • Unsu...

    Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Sat, August 19, 2006 - 4:43 PM
    Upon our return from a four day spiritual and romantic adventure with my beloved from Seattle, my loving wife (recognizing the deep connection that was taking place and realizing that we would not be seeing eachother for a long time) encouraged us to go be alone for one last night before we had to part ways even though she was missing me terribly.

    Thank you, My Love.

  • Unsu...

    Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Sat, August 19, 2006 - 5:37 PM
    A partner who stands for our relationship, through some pretty tough times, even after I said it was over. Who welcomed me back with only the briefest doubt. One who continues to grow, with me and with us, with a smile on her heart and an eye towards new possibilities.
  • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Wed, August 23, 2006 - 7:59 AM
    ...taking care of my husband's girlfriend's kid so they can have time together. husband seeing my rare opportunity for a few hours with my new crush and pushing me to use it wisely.

    ...watching my best friend and my husband make love and grinning through the whole thing. *sigh*

    ...getting tested for STIs regularly.

    ...being honest and open.
    • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

      Wed, August 23, 2006 - 8:27 AM
      Rhi picked one of mine already! But, also...

      Knowing that I can go elsewhere to have amazing interractions that are completely different from what I have at home. Not better, just different.

      "Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."

      ~ Anais Nin
  • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Wed, August 23, 2006 - 2:46 PM
    Blowing up (literally) the layers that slow communication.
    Having access to a profound spiritual connection with a male and female.
    Sharing a husband and wife, and feeling like an honoured goddess.
    Living the natural course: that love will never be housed in one single place.
    Anticipating my individual time.
    Only so our triad can elevated to a new level when we are fused back together!

    I love you deeply Jason and Christine!
    • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

      Thu, August 24, 2006 - 11:41 AM
      Coming back home after being away two years, finding out that a woman I have always been in love with has just married the one partner she's had the whole ten years I've known her.'

      Having an intriguing, intelligent discussion about relationships, monogamy, etc. in which they come out rather more conservative than I am.

      Later... the feeling when she kisses me, with the only end-of-movie-kiss I've ever had, and says "I do love you, you know."

      The feeling that, whatever their situation, however things go, if I never become a "partner" to this incredible polyamorous woman who's nevertheless wonderfully happy in a monogamous relationship... it doesn't really matter because love is enough.

      So there's my answer. LOVE IS... enough. Love is always enough. And it's been a long time since I've felt that so powerfully.

      Thanks for giving me a place to tell this story where people will listen and understand. You are all so important to me.
      • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

        Thu, September 7, 2006 - 5:04 AM
        Love is enough.

        I like that.

        Several months ago a lover and i broke up because I would not be monogamous.
        We've withdrawn sex from the mix, but are still deeply bonded.

        We are still very much in love, and my ex is really struggling with this,
        (as am I, to a lesser degree) still loving me, but now involved in a monogamous relationship
        with someone else, and feeling really torn and confused.

        sigh....back on topic....

        (Poly) LOVE IS......
        letting each connection find it's own right place, time and vibe
        and not placing arbitrary limits based on an understanding of
        love as a finite commodity.
        • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

          Sat, September 23, 2006 - 3:06 AM
          "letting each connection find it's own right place, time and vibe
          and not placing arbitrary limits based on an understanding of
          love as a finite commodity."


          ...recognizing that like each person is different, so is my love of them.
          ...letting a lover know that I care enough to want them to explore another relationship, and I'll support them whatever their choice is.
          • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

            Tue, October 24, 2006 - 8:39 PM

            I like your idea about poly love being patience.

            I'm giving a relationship time cool off at her request as we try to transition from being girlfriends seeing each other nearly daily to long-distance secret lovers. (Not sketchy like it sounds. Do not worry, poly police, there is no lying to other people involved.) I feel like my not acting out and trying to force the issue of our communication is one of the most mature things I've ever been able to pull off. Hooray for two years of therapy and personal growth.
  • Unsu...

    Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Thu, September 7, 2006 - 9:23 AM
    When your travel plans fall through and your boyfriend volunteers to drive you to your other boyfriend's house so that you can still spend the weekend with the other boyfriend.

    When you're sick and your long distance boyfriend's other girlfriend shows up unexpectedly at your door with a carton of hot n' sour soup.

    When you find yourself crammed onto a bed with a whole bunch of partners and their partners and nobody seems to mind the close conditions.
  • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Sat, September 23, 2006 - 5:48 PM
    First hi all, I am new to the tribe but hope to learn from everyone and maybe impart a few interesting words myself along the way.

    Now on topic.

    Poly love is asking how your wifes lover is doing at the school he is attending. Even when you have been in a different country for over a year.
  • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Mon, September 25, 2006 - 11:30 PM
    ... Letting go of all the secrets.
    • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

      Mon, September 25, 2006 - 11:55 PM
      ...curling up on the couch with your boyfriend, your husband, and your husband's two girlfriends and watching a movie.

      ...calling your girlfriend's husband and telling him he's spending the night with you so your girlfriend can take her new crush home with her.

      ...crying your eyes out while being held and comforted by your husband and his girlfriend because your boyfriend moved out.

      ... knowing that there are all kinds of love, and not all of them are sexual.
      • Unsu...

        Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

        Tue, October 2, 2007 - 1:02 PM
        "...curling up on the couch with your boyfriend, your husband, and your husband's two girlfriends and watching a movie"
        LOL! :D I have a picture of our family from almost a year ago doing just that. Funny thing is, our family at the time was the exact same arrangement. :D
  • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Tue, September 26, 2006 - 9:30 AM
    ...not possessing any human, and being honest. Even when the truth may hurt at times, it is the ultimate exposure of the self. Loving someone enough to let them go. Finding love in every moment.

    I also love the "love is enough" quote earlier....
  • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Tue, September 26, 2006 - 9:32 AM
    Just an aside... I am rather new to the lifestyle and my partner and I are working through the bumps with some trepidation and a good deal of excitement. THANK YOU ALL for reminding me of the reason why.
    • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

      Tue, September 26, 2006 - 10:07 AM

      Helping your sweetie find and reply to personal ads.
      • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

        Fri, September 29, 2006 - 12:48 AM
        Yes.... (hand on heart). Ahhh!

        (poly) LOVE is... looking in the eyes of every bum and freak we meet on the street and saying "I love you" with a smile.
        • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

          Fri, September 29, 2006 - 1:00 AM
          (poly) Love is... me not posting a reply on the community message board to my girl's ex-boy who wrote a ten page letter to the world saying I'm evil cuz I "stole something from him". The "possessive" comment above tiggered me.

          Poly love is not always lovey-dovey. I may have to post a reply to the ex and provide a bit of prespective to all. ;-)
  • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Fri, September 29, 2006 - 7:43 AM
    Holding two of my lovers through their breakup... and avoiding the temptation to lure them both into bed at the same time, as much as I miss them together (here, my martyr complex is convenient--without it, said "breakup" would be toast).

    Being surrounded by people who are sane and healthy and happy and wise, and feeling joy when they love each other.

    Taking valuable common-sense lessons to heart: e.g. Using the same menu for birthday dinners that come days apart is convenient, but doesn't make egos happy. :)

    Going from breakfast with my boyfriend to lunch with my ex-lover to dinner with my husband--and having each one of them cook for me in turn... ok, so maybe that's not poly *love*, but it is a total poly *perk* :)
  • Unsu...

    Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Fri, September 29, 2006 - 9:08 AM
    Just wanted to thank so many for sharing your experiences... Some of this stuff is quite heartwarming...

    Poly love is truthful love.
  • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Fri, September 29, 2006 - 10:25 PM the midst of a breakup with your primary, you can turn to your lover for support and comfort. Knowing that because one love has ended, that there are always other loves - and they are not that far away. being open to change and fluidity in relationships, even when it hurts. awesome!
  • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Sat, September 30, 2006 - 1:30 AM
    I haven't fully identified myself as Polyamorous yet, but these posts resonate with my soul. I would love to date someone that could share love like this.
  • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Sat, September 30, 2006 - 10:47 AM
    Picking up on signals for your partner cause sometimes I am just to oblivious to see when I am being flirted with!

    Comforting your partner when they get turned down for the third time in a week because it's not him it's them.
    • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

      Mon, October 2, 2006 - 4:41 AM boyfriend house sitting for me and taking care of my animals, so I can go to Burning Man with my other boyfriend, even though he wanted to go and was unable to make it. boyfriend watching my son and switching a night with me for the next night, so that I could spend the night with my girlfriend, who was alone because her husband was spending the night with his new girlfriend.

      .....sitting in the back of the car with my boyfriend's wife, watching two of my boyfriends singing along to the Blues Brothers CD. Too cute for words! I love watching my boys sing.
      • Unsu...

        Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

        Sun, October 8, 2006 - 9:15 PM
        Coming home with my boyfriend from a sleepover at his place, to help my husband cook Thanksgiving dinner. Sharing a whole afternoon/evening with these 2 wonderful men, my son and my niece - talking, laughing and eating.

        My husband picking my boyfriend up on his way home from work to save him a bus trip.

        My boyfriend telling me how amazing he thinks my son is.
  • Unsu...

    Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Wed, October 11, 2006 - 12:02 AM
    ...acceptance, even just as a very close friend.
    ...crying tears of joy over the beautiful sounds your lover is making with their lover.
    ...waking up between both of them.
    ...simply beautiful.
  • Unsu...

    Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Tue, October 24, 2006 - 5:17 PM
    Hmmm...cute, romantic, sweet, annoying or snarky? How about sexy? Does that work?

    Poly love is being treated to a birthday dinner by two women at a fancy restaurant, including a couple of bottles of real French Champagne, and returning home to a surprise gift of a 10-handed massage by 5 tantric dakinis, followed by a threesome with the same two lovers with whom the evening began....

    The details of this birthday party would burn the pants off of most teenage boys....

    Two bottles of French Champagne: $150
    Three entrees and an appetizer: $170
    10-handed massage followed by a scorching threesome: priceless
  • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Wed, October 25, 2006 - 1:43 PM
    ...never hiding from relationship issues. and loving with intent, purpose, grace, and dignity.
    ...freedom from guilt and fear.
    ...guaranteed to exercise your belly-button-gazing and self-improvement muscles.
    ...feeling really good about watching your lover and her husband love each other. You can see it in their eyes!
  • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Wed, October 25, 2006 - 5:47 PM
    Long answer:
    Poly love is understanding that every bond of love is a unique creation formed by all those involved...though interconnected as all human beings are, no relationship (platonic or sexual) inherently takes away from another...but oh! what amazing benefits they can bestow on each other when shared with honest minds and full hearts!

    Short answer:
    Poly love is being in love with love.
  • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Tue, November 28, 2006 - 4:55 PM
    (Poly) Love is...

    ...sammich hugs!

    ...having a cry after a long stressful week, and being comforted by two wonderful loving people.

    ...being told by my wife that someone at a social gathering is flirting with me and I should go make a move.

    ...painful growth and healing.

    ...rather expensive come Christmas time!
  • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Tue, November 28, 2006 - 5:53 PM
    ...making waffles for my loves on a Sunday morning, one wife cooking sausage, the other wife and our four year old setting the table, tripping over our cat and dog and knowing what it means to be utterly content.

    ...discovering the depths of emotions that I can only describe as spiritual experiences.
    • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

      Wed, November 29, 2006 - 2:02 PM
      Flying my husband out to see his girlfriend. Then holding him while cries missing her after he gets home.

      Going out dancing and coming home to tell my husband about all the beautiful people I've been flirting with. ;p

      Dinner with the...whole...extended family!

      And Yes, Christams/Yule gets very expensive. (but so worth it)
      • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

        Wed, November 29, 2006 - 2:52 PM
        Not being forced to choose among amazing people you love and care for... because you can wholeheartedly foster deep bonds with them all without fear of threatening someone else's comfort.
  • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Wed, November 29, 2006 - 8:30 PM
    Looking at life and others with a clear and open mind, realizing all the tantalizing possibilities therein even if said possibilities are never seized.

    Just flow.....
  • Unsu...

    Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Wed, November 29, 2006 - 8:45 PM
    When one of your lovers greets another with "It's so great to see you, how have you been?" and means it.
    • Unsu...

      Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

      Wed, November 29, 2006 - 10:51 PM
      learning more about yourself than you EVER thought possible...

      Feeling more free than you ever thought possible

      Taking away boundries to truly test yourself... and finding a deeper more amazing love
  • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Wed, November 29, 2006 - 11:13 PM
    This isn't all romance, but these things are real and deep...

    polylove is.....knowing that even though one sexual relationship has ended in our group of three, that I could call either man in my life if I have had a hard day, knowing both would bring flowers when I had a miscarriage... all I'd ever have to say is I need flowers

    knowing that when I had an unexpected career shift, both of them backed me up without question, even when I felt useless and as if I had nothing to contribute to the household

    even after the hard part all three of us running the house, taking care of the pupps and hanging out together, by choice and not only necessity

    knowing that even though it's hard we all still enjoy each other's company and it feels strange when one of us isn't here

    both of them bringing me comfort food when I was on bed-rest, both of them knowing which pills to bring me when I was ill

    and watching the two of them switch work boots when one got a new job and couldn't afford them til his first paycheck... so they carpooled and switched cars and boots

    all three of us going to counseling together, even after the shift and the counselor being amazed by us

    people thinking that we get along so well that they can't tell who's dating and what our status is, people not knowing that I'm the "x" for months after they meet our group becuase we've minimized the drama quotient

    still doing laundry for everybody and feeling lost when it's not there to do

    anyone of us cooking for the other two when someone has to work late

    it's knowing I have two people in my life that I NEVER have to put a shield up with, to any degree............ wow!

    I could go on and on and on

    it's the moving through the hard part into acceptance and finding that these two people will always be here for me and for each other

    I wish people in even just a one on one relationship could experience just one person in their life being this solid
  • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Sat, December 2, 2006 - 7:51 PM
    Poly LOVE IS....

    Sending my primary off to Maui for two weeks to attend a 10 day tantra workshop WITHOUT ME, granting him complete freedom to connect intimately with whomever he wants, and TRUSTING that he will bring all that juice back to me when he returns.

    In the meantime...

    Poly LOVE IS.....

    My sweet poly-friends taking me in to their bed and loving me up while my boyfriend is gone!

    aaaahhhhh, yes!
  • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Tue, December 5, 2006 - 9:23 PM
    . . . walking with my lover's sometimes-fussy baby so he and his wife can eat dinner in peace and having her give me a hearty "thank you."

    . . . being filled with joy that my girl's partner and her are so so so good for each other and -knowing- that they will have each other for years and years

    . . . when one lover teases me about the marks left on my body from another lover

    . . . when one lover's girlfriend calls me to say she misses me and will i be home soon?

    . . . missing my last bus home and feeling very awkward asking a friend if i can crash at his big communal household (where a new person i'm dating lives). showing up, feeling awkward, and running into new person and his other girlfriend to have him say "oh, good timing! A. (addressing other girlfriend), this is the person I've been telling you about . . . " and later being invited to cuddle.

    . . . . fan-fucking-tastic!

    (fabulous thread, by the by!)
  • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Wed, December 6, 2006 - 8:17 PM
    This group warms my heart... I salute the joy with which you put the ideas of polyamory into practice. The world needs more people like you...
  • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Wed, December 6, 2006 - 10:54 PM
    ...four eyes focused on me during a conversation about how lovely i'd be covered in sweet sticky stuff. *big grin*

    ...being present while my PP freaks out about a new lover's change of mind and not freaking out completely with his strange behavior.

    ...putting my foot down (because to love anoyone else, i've gotta love myself first).
  • So well said...

    Thu, December 7, 2006 - 12:46 AM
    The members of this tribe are awesome. I've learned more about polylife from this one thread than from anything else i could have read. So much heartfelt eloquence and articulate thoughts. thank you all so much for sharing your feelings and thoughts on this.
  • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Thu, December 7, 2006 - 6:02 PM
    Poly love is...

    When your girlfriend's husband gives you hugs and reassuring works when a unexpected wall of jealousy hits you from the left like a locamotive after you find out that your girlfiriend misunderstands that you wanted to spend time with her when you got back from an erand but she has run off with a new boy she really likes instead.
  • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Sun, December 10, 2006 - 5:08 PM
    having my boyfriend's other girlfriend call me the following morning after her night of passion with him to ask me how I'd like for her to wake him up.

    my boyfriend giving my other boyfriend gifts for us to enjoy

    inviting my boyfriend's other girlfriend on vacation with us....can't wait!!!

    not being willing to choose between my loves, and not having to
    • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

      Thu, December 14, 2006 - 8:08 PM
      >having my boyfriend's other girlfriend call me the following morning after her night of passion with him to ask me how I'd like for her to wake >him up.

      That is so sweet!
      • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

        Fri, December 15, 2006 - 2:20 AM
        I'm glad that works for you.

        It would freak me out, and be beyond my boundaries I think...

        Here's mine for today:

        He helps me pack for my trip to see her (including consulting on which outfits
        are most appropriate/attractive) drives me to the train station, and does an
        onerous chore for me while I'm gone that popped up out of nowwhere and is time
        sensitive. Thanks!
  • Unsu...

    Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Sun, December 10, 2006 - 8:06 PM
    Keeping the kids, doing laundry, and cleaning house all weekend so she can fully enjoy a weekend away with a new lover. (all the while hoping that he does not find poly "freaky")
  • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Fri, December 15, 2006 - 11:38 AM
    Simply Beautiful.
    Each and everyone of you are beautiful. Thank you for sharing your stories. And thank you Angel for creating such an inspiring topic.
    • Unsu...

      Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

      Fri, December 15, 2006 - 1:38 PM
      Freedom to explore spontaneity an opportunity while knowing my partner is only going to share intimacy with someone once, and never again, unless they have my seal of approval. And visa versa,
  • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Sun, December 17, 2006 - 7:56 PM
    ***waking up in that cuddle sandwich where I can't breathe but don't really mind. :)

    ***having my 12 year old ask me when my girlfriend is coming over so he can make sure the wine is open.

    ***lying between them...waking early... and just listening to both of them breathe and lightly snore

    ***moving slightly and having them both reach for me..
    • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

      Sun, December 17, 2006 - 8:13 PM

      Getting sizes right for my boi's boi's holiday gift.

      Going to holiday parties where the white board looks like a snowflake.
      (imagine the L word's Alice's whiteboard)
      • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

        Mon, December 18, 2006 - 10:30 AM
        knowing the love is there, and the potential for (physical) intimacy,
        even if the practicalities of life mean it doesn't "go there" very often....
  • Unsu...

    Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Mon, December 18, 2006 - 7:40 AM
    When the whole gang shows up at your daughter's fourth birthday party because they love her too.
  • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Wed, December 27, 2006 - 9:33 PM
    Having your husband tell your boyfriend how awesome it has been watching you fall in love with him.
    • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

      Sat, December 30, 2006 - 8:56 AM
      Getting to see all my loves in one day - waking up with one, having breakfast with another, having dinner with another, and going to bed with yet another!

      Going to a concert with three of my loves and getting to kiss and hug and dance with all of them (and my boyfriend's wife as well). I'm sure anyone watching us must have thought we were nuts, but I don't care! :)
      • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

        Sat, December 30, 2006 - 11:21 AM
        Cuddles on Christmas morning with my lovers.
        • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

          Sat, December 30, 2006 - 3:26 PM
          Letting one know I'm getting busy in my room with someone ELSE, so
          • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

            Wed, February 21, 2007 - 11:59 PM
            I just had to bump this post back up

            Poly love is . . . offering to take care of my lover's baby so he, his wife, and her boyfriend can go out and see live music and -loving- that I can do that for them.
            . . . cuddling with all three of my regular lovers, right after one had met the other two and it being de.light.ful. Mmmm, cuddles.

            -le sigh- hot damn, poly makes my schedule hectic but it sure is worth it!
  • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Thu, February 22, 2007 - 7:35 AM
    ...having my husband convince me that i should tell our friend i had a crush on him when i would have been too shy and let it slide.
  • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Fri, February 23, 2007 - 7:05 PM
    ... when you wait years to give your virginity to your love, dodging your parent's rule all through the waiting, hiding your relationship no matter how much you want to shout it from the rooftops, for the sake of being together. And the whole time remaining faithful and devoted to him but letting him have multiple partners and girlfriends with no jealousy, loving both him and his lovers as much as a girl can. =3

    That is love. ^_^

    And I adore that fact that he is mine, no matter what. <3 I support him and what makes him happy, for I can count on him putting that lasting smile on my face even just with the thought of him.

    I love you so much Oni. *hugs and kisses*

  • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Thu, September 6, 2007 - 1:43 PM
    ...sharing the last pint of chocolate ice cream with all my loves.
    Living life with grace and love
    • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

      Thu, September 6, 2007 - 2:39 PM
      WOW. I'm absolutely blown away. What a fantastic thread and fantastic Tribe!

      How many of you {like me} were reading along and saying out loud "Yeah!! Right!!! That's it exactly!!!! etc..."?

      (Poly) LOVE IS:

      Realizing that love really doesn't have to have limits.
      • Unsu...

        Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

        Thu, September 6, 2007 - 8:08 PM
        Sometimes very f^%$@ing confusing......OH the communication.....I am learning so much....
        • TJ
          offline 0

          Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

          Sat, September 8, 2007 - 9:29 AM
          Greetings all, and thank you for this tribe. I'm grateful for this tribe and what people have to offer here. I've been reading, and now think I'm ready to post......

          (Poly) LOVE IS.....
          ........unexpectedly finding the loves of one's life through a swinger's website.....
          ........those same loves welcoming this wounded bird -- who had buried her pain in random sexual encounters -- into their home and their lives.....
          ........healing with their patience, touch, and love......
          ........astonishment at my girlfriend's declaration that her mission in life was to bring my boyfriend (her husband) and me together, for he and I are decidedly soulmates from previous lives.....
          ........learning, together, how to navigate together......
          ........taking great joy in knowing, at age 50, we all found each other.
  • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Sat, September 8, 2007 - 5:53 PM
    ... when your new crush's partner gives him up for the night so he can be your date to the wedding of your partner to his other partner. then your partner asks you to stand with him at the ceremony.
  • Unsu...

    Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Mon, September 10, 2007 - 7:21 PM
    Awww... these posts make me want to cry! They are so beautiful and inspiring to read. I hope to get there someday. Thank you!

    For now, things are less inspiring, more difficult, and painful (yet hopeful at the same time... this is a journey and all that), so poly love is...

    ... being afraid to talk to my (long-distance and monogamous-leaning) love about my new (closer to home and not really sure yet) love, but finally writing a letter (and waiting on pins and needles to hear her reply... going on day 3)

    ... being worried about saying too much, too fast to new love because... (well, shit, there are a hundred reasons why)

    .... wondering if ever finding good examples of poly love in my own life is possible.
    • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

      Mon, September 10, 2007 - 10:59 PM
      Yup. It *is* possible. Hang in there.
      • Unsu...

        Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

        Wed, September 12, 2007 - 9:11 AM
        Im new to this tribe, but I love and respect all of you. You all seem like such wonderful people and I hope to reach the enlightenment you all have on this subject..
        • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

          Tue, September 25, 2007 - 4:23 PM
          " I hope to reach the enlightenment you all have on this subject.."

          It's less about enlightenment than it is accepting ourselves as flawed humans and loving each other anyway.
    • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

      Wed, November 14, 2007 - 8:32 PM
      Don't be afraid to let that new love surprise you.

      Sometimes things that seem to good to be true aren't. Sometimes they really ARE that good, but you can't be open to it until you are unafraid to let yourself be vulnerable. Yes love can hurt, but what stands to be gained from opening yourself to it far outweighs what stands to be lost by protecting yourself from it.
  • Unsu...

    Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Tue, September 25, 2007 - 11:44 AM
    Poly Love is...

    That moment when you realize that your community whether your sleeping with them or not are all your lovers in different ways...

    And knowing that that community is the biggest happiest and most amazing safety net for your heart that one could ever ever dream of.
  • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Thu, September 27, 2007 - 11:21 PM
    When your partner doesn't want you and directs blame and anger toward you and you are feeling strong love with no expectations.
  • Unsu...

    Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Fri, September 28, 2007 - 5:26 PM
    Having the people in your life call to wish you and your husband a happy anniversary. 10 years today, w00t! :D
  • Dan
    offline 0

    Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Fri, September 28, 2007 - 10:12 PM
    Buying a special type of chocolate for my wifes lover when she is with him for a weekend. Shaving her very special for her lover before she visits him for a weekend or a day. Loving her as much or more than when she is away with her lover for the weekend or a day. Missing her very much while she is away and giving her a lot of love when she returns.
  • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Tue, October 23, 2007 - 9:29 PM
    glowing over being named one of one lover's "favorite people in the world" while your live-in boyfriend giggles with a new love interest on the phonel.
  • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Wed, October 24, 2007 - 8:55 AM
    When K asks me if B is my primary, and if B is okay with K being a secondary. Especially when both of them are new to this whole poly thing.

    When R asks to have some girls-only time with me, in addition to a double date with me and my boyfriend B, as well as a single date with B.

    Thanking R for taking care of B while he was sick and I could not be there.

    I heart Poly Love!
  • Unsu...

    (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Wed, October 24, 2007 - 12:14 PM
    Never being alone.

    • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

      Wed, October 24, 2007 - 11:48 PM
      Very PAINFUL

      When despite having "never-felt-so-completely-loved-before", your lover still internally struggles and choses to pull away from you, fearing an "impossible future" in anything but a monogamous relationship.
      • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

        Thu, October 25, 2007 - 10:48 AM

        ...worth it.
        • me
          offline 34

          Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

          Thu, October 25, 2007 - 5:26 PM
          having the courage to love someone for who they are, and not what they do for you.

          enduring suffering in order to grow.

          learning to say no.... and to say yes (which is often much harder).

          being willing to take a chance on a good thing (again and again.)

          finding pleasure in the joy of others.

          finding that love only burns brighter when shared freely.
  • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Mon, November 5, 2007 - 4:14 PM
    ...racking up the frequent flyer miles in joy.
    • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

      Mon, November 5, 2007 - 7:05 PM
      ~my boyfriend's other girlfriend setting up a date for us knowing we hadn't seen each other for awhile

      ~my other boyfriend wishing us a good time, knowing it means I won't be spending the weekend with him and our girlfriend

      ~cuddles with my gf & bf's daughter

      ~my boyfriend making sure I talk to our girlfriend when things aren't quite right between us
  • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Wed, November 14, 2007 - 11:34 AM
    Being able to talk openly to your lovers and friends (even friends who I may wish were lovers) about other lovers. To give and receive honest advice about love, without allowing each persons individual desires to get in the way of giving and receiving good advice. There is something very powerfully loving about being able to overcome the sense of self, and listen, and give advice with total empathy for one another, about being able to say and hear what is most important to one another without allowing self interest to get in the way.

    I feel extremely fortunate to have a few people in my life with whom I can both give and receive such thoughtful, open minded, open hearted advice. A couple of them may read this, and I hope they know how much I appreciate having them in my life.
  • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Thu, November 15, 2007 - 12:53 PM
    ...when a declaration of love by your new sweetie puts your existing partner's mind at ease.

    ...when your new love is in the hospital and while her other love is there sitting with her, he helps her to send a reassuring text message to you.
  • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Mon, March 24, 2008 - 11:23 PM
    Having your husband run to the store to pick up condoms for you while you gussy up for your date with your new crush.

    Having your husband and live-in boyfriend invite your new crush over so you have enough people for a game of spades.

    Remembering the birthdays of his girlfriends so you can remind him to buy them gifts

    When you are angry with one lover and your husband steps in to remind you that who you are angry with is a wonderful person and that these little irritations are trivial compared to how much you love them and they love you.
    • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

      Tue, March 25, 2008 - 5:54 AM
      You know, I am still trying to work through 34 years of being told that monogamy is the 'only' way, even though I knew it wasn't working for me

      ...I'm not quite there yet....I don't quite get it all yet...but I am trying...I really and truly am. He's worth it.

      And this much.

      Thank you
      • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

        Tue, March 25, 2008 - 7:32 AM
        "Poly love is truthful love"


        Anyone that has had children understands this (or should). I love my oldest daughter more than anything in the world and I love my youngest daughter just as much. I love my wife, my girlfriend and all my "ex's". Love in every case was (and still is) beautiful.

        It is absolutely natural to love more than one person at a time.

        ...and I adore this thread. It has to be one of my all time favorite threads.

        Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
  • Unsu...

    Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Sun, March 30, 2008 - 11:00 PM
    ...seeing this thread still going strong 1.5 years after you first responded to it...

    ...having more to add to the discussion 1.5 years later too. :)

    ...setting up a date with your fiancé and your girlfriend knowing that they will both read this and respond.

    ...loving the compersion that occurs between them and knowing that they both feel the same way when it's my turn.

    ...knowing that love has no limits except the artificial ones we place on it.

    ...knowing that the poly lifestyle is finally becoming accepted in many places.

    ...knowing that without Tribe, neither of your relationships would be what they are today. :)
    • Unsu...

      Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

      Mon, March 31, 2008 - 8:31 PM
      having my both my fiance' and girlfriend shower me with attention and knowing that both of them are enjoying it as much as i am.
      having the man i love understand, accept and encourage love beyond limitations.
      having a network of people in my life who weave a tapestry of love and yummy sex.
      being able to release the guilt/anxiety of having to meet all needs for one person - sharing is caring.
      • Unsu...

        Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

        Mon, March 31, 2008 - 8:40 PM
        having the courage to walk away from a relationship without creating more damage and suffering than there already is.
        opening your heart to forgive everyone involved and thank the others for all the wonderful lessons you have learned.
        being ready to continue to love unconditionally in this wonderful community of like minded people.
        • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

          Mon, March 31, 2008 - 8:57 PM
          Watching the joy on your love's face as they make love to another of their partners, and hearing them express their adoration of that individual in the heat of passion.

          Being so wonderfully in love with your partner that seeing them with another who also loves them as much as you do triples the effect.
  • Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Mon, February 16, 2009 - 8:45 PM
    Poly love is..

    Butterflies in your stomach
    Sometimes being overwhelmed by insecurity
    Sometimes being neglected when all your partners are busy.
    Getting bits and pieces from each partner that you couldn't get from a single partner
    Celebrating the differences in each partner
    Worry and anxiety over losing two partners who both want to be your primary
    Sadness over losing people you care about deeply because with all their reassurances that it was "fine", they still secretly wanted you all to themselves.
    Spending far too much time dating, juggling relationships, and trying to please everyone.
    Joy in the moments of connection with each partner that all the worry and work have won you.
  • Sal
    offline 1

    Re: (Poly) LOVE IS......

    Thu, February 19, 2009 - 6:26 PM
    a gift, given & received...

    by being fully present within the moment... without walls of any kind....

    to share to your "self" without condition or fear... always with love, honesty, and respect ...

    and just celebrate LIFE!!!

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