Over the past few years I have been involved with someone openly poly only to find he was less then honest with me. (Lots of inconsistancs, no emotional support, inconsideration about my needs/desires) So I was left with mixed feelings about being poly...loved the idea of being open and supportive with one another and eachother's additional partners...but not the lies.
I met a couple recently that are very much in love, completely open, and poly! We've hit it off and I'm happy to say that I've found myself rethinking a Poly lifestyle. I'm not letting one lying guy taint my view of something that I believe can be a beautiful thing!
*jenn*
I met a couple recently that are very much in love, completely open, and poly! We've hit it off and I'm happy to say that I've found myself rethinking a Poly lifestyle. I'm not letting one lying guy taint my view of something that I believe can be a beautiful thing!
*jenn*
posted by:
|
Sacramento
|
-
Re: At last!
Sat, April 19, 2008 - 2:56 PMThat is wonderful news. I hear you about the inconsistancies and especially the lack of emotional support. Congratulations and thank you for sharing your story. I still believe that poly can work and have seen friends having successful poly relationships. I look forward to finding the same success for myself someday.
-
Re: At last!
Sat, April 19, 2008 - 9:04 PMyes thank you for sharing. I too am at the head of a positive open relationship after thinking I would never find someone to experience this with. So nice to know not everyone uses poly as an excuse to let down a old love easy and slowly (in their own heads) -
-
Re: At last!
Sun, April 20, 2008 - 3:51 PM"So nice to know not everyone uses poly as an excuse to let down a old love easy and slowly (in their own heads)"
Or as a way to hunt up a new partner without having to break up with you until they have a new beau lined up, which seems to be my luck with "poly" girlfriends.
-
-
Re: At last!
Sun, April 20, 2008 - 4:40 PMI hear you, sister! My ex was less than forthcoming with a lot of stuff I later found out about. She left me for a 'poly' couple and destroyed our marriage in the process. Since then, I jumped back on the poly bandwagon and I couldn't be happier. I'm engaged to be married to a wonderful poly princess, involved with another lovely lady as well. Someday I'll find my prince as well, but that one's a bit slower in coming. Lesson learned: Never let 'one bad apple' spoil your view of the whole poly bunch.
-
Unsu...
Re: At last!
Tue, April 22, 2008 - 7:59 PMHey, I've had some bad poly experiences, too, but they're nothing compared to my bad mono experiences :) I'll never go back. I'm glad you've found something good--but even if it goes south, stay strong sister, don't sell yourself out. And I agree, a couple with a healthy relationship is so appealing--getting in on some love instead of some big drama--
-
Re: At last!
Wed, April 30, 2008 - 4:58 PMI ended up going through a divorce because of an EXTREMELY bad open relationship experience several years ago. It completely closed my door to anything but monogamy until I became acquainted with a social group of people that seemed to do poly well! Now I am poly, marrying a poly boy and looking forward to a life of love, openness and honesty.
I am still triggered by fears related to that first bad experience, so I would highly suggest expecting that yourself. The key, however is how you react to it. I find honest conversation with my partner soothes those fears every time.
-
Unsu...
Re: At last!
Wed, April 30, 2008 - 6:03 PMYey!! Happy to hear of your success! Give me hope...
-
Re: At last!
Sat, May 3, 2008 - 8:39 AMThanks for your post. I've had a similar experience and need my trust renewed! Reading your story helps a little :-)))
-
Unsu...
Re: At last!
Wed, June 4, 2008 - 10:58 AMI thought I would revive this thread since some people have complained of postings becoming crotchety and negative--well, naturally people post with problems and tough questions, so discussion is skewed toward drama and it's easy to get the impression that poly is incredibly difficult and complicated. It's understandable but sometimes discouraging. Maybe it's time to lighten up with a few happy stories. I'm in a very nice situation right now, similar to the OP, I'm totally in love with a couple which is something I never would have anticipated in a million years. I'm even thinking of telling my parents :) -
-
Unsu...
Re: At last!
Wed, June 4, 2008 - 11:06 AMPS one thing I love about poly is it's so much damn fun most of the time. I thought middle age would be boring, but not so. -
-
Re: At last!
Wed, June 4, 2008 - 1:19 PMThank you and excellent idea ladyLily!
Happy post!
-
-
