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Just wanted to say I love yous... I think you'll find your words here, mixed together with mine. Feeling very hopeful today and just wanted to share. Thank you for your words of wisdom, perspectives, and openness. Couldn't have done it without you!
with love,
paige
POLYFESTO
An outline for loving relationships, a doctrine for intimate revolutionaries & relationship anarchists, and a reminder to myself to live each day authentically
* I respect that each connection in my life will find it’s own right place, time, and spirit – with an appreciative understanding that each connection evolves in unpredictable ways.
* I realize and value that there are all kinds of love, and not all of them are sexual. I will be open to all expressions of love. I will give and receive love freely and often.
* I do not believe in placing arbitrary limits on myself or others based on an understanding of love as a finite commodity. I firmly believe that the more love I give, the more it grows and that people have an unlimited capacity to love.
* I will strive to be aware of how social conditioning is effecting my responses to love, and work towards breaking bad habits so that love can be redefined, explored, and expressed without hindrance.
* I appreciate that each expression of love is special. I recognize that all love has value and that one kind of love can never be better than another.
* I will keep my heart open to receive love. I will keep my heart open to give love. I will not be afraid to explore and express love frequently in multiple ways. I will be open to vulnerability and intimacy. I will lower my shield to let love in and will slow down and listen when my shield goes up.
* I understand that people have varied needs, that one person can not fulfill all needs of another, and it is our responsibility to express and get our own needs met. I recognize that this builds community and connection, which is the goal and helps to spread love.
* I will encourage those I love to love more. I will be supportive when someone I love finds love or expresses love. I will look inward if any expression of love causes me to feel threatened or insecure. I will be open to being told I am not being supportive.
* I will examine my own fears and strive to not let them get in the way of expressing and experiencing love. I will listen with an open heart if someone’s honesty hurts me. I will strive to always respond with grace and speak authentically.
* I believe in being open to change and fluidity in relationships, even when it hurts. I believe love is the absence of guilt and fear. I believe love is acceptance that love involves choices.
* I recognize that love can become strained, love can be withheld, and love can be painful. I will strive to be honest with myself and others in order to remain compassionate to myself and others.
* I respect that love fosters deep bonds, and that expressions of love should be encouraged without the fear of threatening someone else’s comfort. I believe that compassion, safety, trust, and respect are essential to maintaining love.
* I believe that self-love is essential, and without out it, love is impossible.
with love,
paige
POLYFESTO
An outline for loving relationships, a doctrine for intimate revolutionaries & relationship anarchists, and a reminder to myself to live each day authentically
* I respect that each connection in my life will find it’s own right place, time, and spirit – with an appreciative understanding that each connection evolves in unpredictable ways.
* I realize and value that there are all kinds of love, and not all of them are sexual. I will be open to all expressions of love. I will give and receive love freely and often.
* I do not believe in placing arbitrary limits on myself or others based on an understanding of love as a finite commodity. I firmly believe that the more love I give, the more it grows and that people have an unlimited capacity to love.
* I will strive to be aware of how social conditioning is effecting my responses to love, and work towards breaking bad habits so that love can be redefined, explored, and expressed without hindrance.
* I appreciate that each expression of love is special. I recognize that all love has value and that one kind of love can never be better than another.
* I will keep my heart open to receive love. I will keep my heart open to give love. I will not be afraid to explore and express love frequently in multiple ways. I will be open to vulnerability and intimacy. I will lower my shield to let love in and will slow down and listen when my shield goes up.
* I understand that people have varied needs, that one person can not fulfill all needs of another, and it is our responsibility to express and get our own needs met. I recognize that this builds community and connection, which is the goal and helps to spread love.
* I will encourage those I love to love more. I will be supportive when someone I love finds love or expresses love. I will look inward if any expression of love causes me to feel threatened or insecure. I will be open to being told I am not being supportive.
* I will examine my own fears and strive to not let them get in the way of expressing and experiencing love. I will listen with an open heart if someone’s honesty hurts me. I will strive to always respond with grace and speak authentically.
* I believe in being open to change and fluidity in relationships, even when it hurts. I believe love is the absence of guilt and fear. I believe love is acceptance that love involves choices.
* I recognize that love can become strained, love can be withheld, and love can be painful. I will strive to be honest with myself and others in order to remain compassionate to myself and others.
* I respect that love fosters deep bonds, and that expressions of love should be encouraged without the fear of threatening someone else’s comfort. I believe that compassion, safety, trust, and respect are essential to maintaining love.
* I believe that self-love is essential, and without out it, love is impossible.
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Re: Polyfesto
Wed, September 12, 2007 - 12:23 PMBeautiful. Thank you so much for posting this. Loving relationships start with our relationship with self and our ability to be aware.
Living life with grace and love
LB -
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Re: Polyfesto
Wed, September 12, 2007 - 2:29 PMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
good stuff...
thanks darlin'
great post.
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Re: Polyfesto
Wed, September 12, 2007 - 2:51 PMThat's worth printing out and posting in a prominant place.
I think I will...Thanks!
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Re: Polyfesto
Wed, September 12, 2007 - 5:04 PMBeautiful Paige! Can I send a copy to a friend?
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Re: Polyfesto
Wed, September 12, 2007 - 5:21 PMI love it! What a great collection of thoughts and reminders. Thanks for sharing. :D
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Re: Polyfesto
Wed, September 12, 2007 - 5:57 PMI like it - seems to be a great example of a "fluid" poly philosophy.
For me, there wasn't enough mention of the concept of commitment to work for my poly lifestyle. Lots about rights and not so much about responsibility, for my personal taste. A little too "free-love," and anything goes, if you will, for me.
On an existential level, we're all fundamentally alone, it's true. However practically speaking, I find that making commitments and agreements with others and sticking to them works best in my life to get my needs met. I need more stability in my life than this particular polyfesto would provide.
But a really lovely piece all the same. Thank you! -
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Unsu...
Re: Polyfesto
Wed, September 12, 2007 - 9:13 PMcommitment is implied for me with love, i guess, otherwise it's not that solid. thus the polyfesto outlines commitments to self and others. but i thank you for your feedback and would welcome your thoughts on a specific commitment that addressed commitment...
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Re: Polyfesto
Thu, September 13, 2007 - 12:12 AM:: I need more stability in my life than this particular polyfesto would provide.
what changes would you suggest to achieve this stability? when you say this manifesto is "too free-love", do you take issue with the freedom? does your ideal conception of love take issue with individual freedom?
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Re: Polyfesto
Thu, September 13, 2007 - 1:21 AM"respect that each connection in my life will find it’s "
its...
:-) -
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Unsu...
Re: Polyfesto
Sat, September 15, 2007 - 12:26 AMegad! thanks for catching that... I *hate* typos!
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Unsu...
Re: Polyfesto
Fri, September 14, 2007 - 5:09 PMDid you write this "polyfesto," Paige? It's marvelous. I read it aloud to my polyamory workshop last night in Oakland, CA. I really resonated with a number of folks. I would like to make copies and share it, do you know the author? Thanks for any leads.
Radical Love,
Wendy-O Matik, author of Redefining Our Relationships: Guidelines for Responsible Open Relationships
www.wendyomatik.com -
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Re: Polyfesto
Fri, September 14, 2007 - 6:10 PMIt looks good, but so many words, is there a Cliff Notes version? ;)
ps- Paige Turner = awesome monikor -
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Unsu...
Re: Polyfesto
Sat, September 15, 2007 - 12:26 AMdude, I kept it to one page, type written... what more do you want from me?
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Unsu...
Re: Polyfesto
Sat, September 15, 2007 - 12:24 AMThanks Wendy-O! And the short answer is no... I didn't write the whole thing. There are quotes verbatim from the marvelous people who have spoken on this tribe. Usually they are expanded upon by me, and there's a few added on my own too.
It makes me feel very good and very loved that you shared it with your poly workshop group. Thanks for the kudos and thanks for sharing it. I'm glad to hear it resonated with people.
Feel free (to you or anyone else) to copy it, expand upon it, change it to apply to your own specific belief system, or whatever. I'd only suggest adding that it was written by the tribe and paige turner, if dedication (or authorship) is something you wish to acknowledge. We all learn from each other, and no words are unique. (But if any of you out there do expand or change it, please do share with the rest of the tribe!)
viva la revolution,
paige, sorta author of the polyfesto
p.s. really liked your book and i'm gonna tell all my friends you shared the polyfesto in your workshop... hope you don't mind! ;-)
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